Cool Exit Messages!

**Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

**The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

**Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

**House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.

**Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

**It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.

**War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

**I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness

**If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?

**My god carries a hammer. Your god died nailed to a tree. Any questions?

**Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

**Actual Headline: Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

**If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

**if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN

**A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...

**The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

**When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

**You can't be late until you show up.

**Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway

**Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

**Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

**Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

**The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources

**Advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.

**books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn't pay..so if you keep reading, you'll go broke

**A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.

**I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

**Answering Machine Saying: Sorry I can’t get to the phone right now because my girlfriend and I are doing our favorite thing together. Personally I like doing it up and down, while she likes doing it side-to-side r-e-a-l slow... So I’ll get back to you when we finish brushing our teeth.

**If practice makes perfect & nobody's perfect, why practice?

**Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

**I intend to live forever, or die trying.

**As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools.

**Actual Headline: Joint Committee Investigates Marijuana Use

**Anything you say will be held against you. ... "tits"

**A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

**Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when you haven't sent one out.

**If you cannot convince them, confuse them.

**To ensure perfect aim, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target

**"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989

**once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of 'hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, "give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.

**"Jesus Christ is Lord, not a swear word"

**"stop drop and roll will not work in hell"

**Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.

" Evil is a point of view. God kills, indiscriminately, and so shall we. For no creatures under God are as we are, none so like him as ourselves.' --Lestat

Early in the moring, late at night, Two dead boys got up to fight. They stood back to back, facing each other, they pulled two swords and shot each other. a deaf ploiceman heard the noise and came and killed those two dead boys. If you doubt the truth to the lies i rell, ask the blind man, he saw as well

Johnny was a chemists son but Johnny is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

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The past mind will not endure. The present mind will not endure. The future mind will not endure. How will you drink your tea?